Well, much has happened – again in life. Today was a day of craziness… as many days are. I found moments of peace, but in my heart I was lost today… feeling much like a young girl with no understanding of what I am doing… or where I am going. I was spending some much needed alone quiet time on the roof, listening to my I-pod and I was listening to a song by Ginny Owens called, This Road. My heart echoed the words that she sang… I’d like to share them with you.
A million miles away from anything familiar
A thousand places I would rather be
So choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
Though I find it hard to see beyond my own suffering
In my heart I know your plan is so much bigger
But this small part is all I can see and I believe you haven’t left me here to wander
Still I can’t help but ponder where you’re leading me
And I ask why this road, why this way and this load
And tell me how far must I go
‘Till I see, ‘till I know
Why this road
A million miles away from anything familiar
What was it like to be so far from home?
Though you came in love the world misunderstood you
There must have been some days when you felt so alone
But you endure; cause there was joy before you
Joy that came because you sacrificed
Since you gave yourself just to spend forever with me
Sure I can trust you’ll lead me through my darkest times
When I ask why…
From here I cannot see why you’d choose this path for me
But I don’t have to understand to believe that you know why
You know why this road, why this way and this load
You know how far I must go till I see, till I know why this road.
There are days when I know I am here for a reason and then times come over when all I can think about is being home in the arms of my loved ones. Curled up in daddy’s lap and just being with mom and dad… safe and secure in that place of home.
I have been so challenged lately… most of it has been incredibly good, a lot of the lessons very hard and difficult to learn. Redundant to say both isn’t it? But that is how God is sometimes, patiently reminding me and bringing me through his discipline and growth with love and care. I am so stubborn sometimes and so difficult to teach. Lord knows he is helping me to be teachable!
I am so not perfect, and if it takes the Lord stripping away every bit of my own self and reputation to bring me to the place of a humble servant of the King then, Lord continue these lessons.
It is difficult to try and put this into words that would make sense… maybe someday I will be able to verbalize it better… but I will say that daily life is changing and molding me into the woman that I have always longed to be. There have been many FUN and adventurous and humorous and heartbreaking things that have happened in the last few weeks since I’ve blogged. Let me share a few of the stories with pictures!! :o) Thank you mommy and daddy for the camera! I love it so much and I use it often!!
I am sorry if I repeat myself when telling stories, it is hard to remember what order and when things took place… a lot of my life here in Haiti seems to be a blur. Lol.
So – shortly after Jess left the 4 of us left, Steve, Rebekah, Joe and I had some real bonding time over cracking open a fresh coconut that Steve retrieved from a tree in the yard. It was fantastic!! And quite amusing to watch Steve and Rebekah attempting to hack it open Haitian style with a machete! Lol. That was a good night full of good memories that I will hold and treasure forever. We also had a fun day soon after that where we had real beef hot dogs and s’mores! We put together a fire on the front lawn an afternoon that felt like a summer picnic at home. It was wonderful. The Haitians were in awe and laughed in amusement as they watched us cook hotdogs and our marshmallows and chocolate on crackers. Almost all of our staff tried the s’mores and we heard many exclamations of “Le BON!” It’s good! Lol. That was a lot of fun!
A couple days later I was allowed to ride again to Port au Prince to drop off Devin and Jane. I was sad to see them go, but I was very grateful for the time that I had with them. They were a huge support and encouragement I know not only to me, but also to Marc and Lisa and the people here. Devin shared a message when he was here from 2 Chron 7:14 “The if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heave and will forgive their sins and restore their land.” It challenged us as a church and a family here and after they left we called the church together for a week of fasting and prayer. We got together at 5 a.m. and 5 p.m. every day for 5 days. It was an incredible time of healing and repentance and preparation for the next week where we were going to be having a conference with Pastor Dale Mitchell from LeDuc Canada. What a blessing he has been. But now I am getting ahead of myself.
Jess came back in the company of Pastor Dale on the 1st of February. I was so excited to see her my sister and my friend. I missed her so much while she was away though the weeks that she was gone were quite necessary for her as well as for many of us. For me, it was very good to have some time to HAVE to establish myself here. As an individual not only as her partner, lol. I did miss her though and was so excited to have her home! She came bearing many, MANY gifts! She spoiled me rotten! She brought with 3 glass-bottled frappucinos! They were amazing. I miss Starbucks so much and it was such a treat. :D She brought lots of chocolate as if I didn’t have enough with the stash that came with Devin and Jane! She brought me the entire collection of Christy on DVD, which I am sad to admit, is part of why I have not blogged in 2 weeks. There were 24 episodes approximately and I finished it in a total of about 5 days. I don’t even know how that is possible really!!! But it was amazing!
I had my first adventure cooking in Haiti. Now, some of you may think no big deal. But I’ll tell you – it is a huge deal!! I really don’t’ cook generally – ever. I have taken up the saying that I just better marry someone who likes to cook! I can bake some yummy things, but actual cooking is not something I necessarily enjoy or have any practice at all. I don’t know how I survived 2 years on my own apart from microwavable foods and an income to support those foods. Lol. And a couple of good friends that had me over every so often for a real meal. I am sure I can cook okay if I put my mind to it… but ya. Anyway – I am known around here at the house that I don’t cook. I am a girl that can’t cook. In Haitian culture, this is not good. It is basically diminishing my worth and value as a woman. (okay maybe not that dramatic, but it sure sounds more important!) Lisa and Marc have been doing a series on relationships on Sunday nights for the last few months and I happened to come up in one of the sermons that I don’t cook. There was shock and surprise that came out in the Haitians exclamations… and I have never been able to live it down. Many of my friends here tease me about it… but I am very happy to say that I did in fact at least help with cooking lasagna. It was wonderful. I usually hate lasagna but I’ll tell you what – this was YUMMY! We had to improvise because we didn’t have any cottage cheese handy we used sour cream. I thought it sounded sick, but the taste was quite surprising!! I might have to attempt it at home someday. Lol.
The last thing that I want to talk about is the Pastors conference that we had this last week. I am still kinda tired from it, though it was very encouraging and challenging. There were over 400 pastors and leaders at this conference -- 100 more than the January conference… and Pastor Dale talked out of Leviticus. It was so challenging. He has such a way of bringing the Old Testament to life. I have always found the Old Testament to be fascinating and used to spend hours reading through the books, pouring over the prophets and the poetry books and the history. I soaked it up, but even this last week many new revelations hit me… you don’t think about it much, but he brought up the fact that Paul and all of the New Testament apostles had to preach Jesus from the Old Testament. They brought people to the revelation of Jesus Christ by preaching the truth of him fulfilling the Old Testament. How then can we as the church today neglect the whole truth of his word? I was so encouraged and challenged.
We had a great time at the beach yesterday with Dale. Some of our friends were at the beach selling their art and stuff for a group of missionaries that happened to be there from the US and Canada. That was kind of neat to visit with some other white people. After they all cleared out we had the beach to ourselves and enjoyed a swim in the ocean and a couple of lambi (seafood!!) and some fresh lobster that came straight out of the ocean, cooked over a fire and served with a yummy spicy lime sauce. It was wonderful. We were in a picture takin mood so I have a couple I must share! :o)
Thanks again for taking the time to read this. Hopefully the next blog will not take me 2 weeks to get to.
I’ll see some of you dear ones at home in 65 days. I cannot believe that is all that is left. It’s really quite incredible. Today felt like it would be an eternity before I get to see you, I was missing home so much… but I have a feeling tomorrow will bring a sense of purpose again in being here… not for myself or my own ambitions, but for the plans of God for Haiti Arise and for HIS Kingdom to be advanced in this place. It’s not about me anyway… thanks be to God!