Worship and Rain

So last night we had church service. Every time I go I am blown away by the greatness of God! I love it... I love how you can feel God and I know that he is here... That when we dance in worship we are dancing with our Creator and He delights in the praises of his people. I love knowing that I am bringing pleasure to my love. Isn't that what we were created for? To please God? To honor him and obey him and to Love Him with everything inside of us?

I have been so challenged lately to go deeper... to not hold anything back. I have been feeling this strong longing from the Holy Spirit in me to go deeper into the presence of God, to find my life and my comfort and strength in Him... I felt it when I was home too and I was often miserable and down in my spirit because I would not obey. I was stubborn and scared and selfish. Afraid of what God would require of me. Afraid that the task was too big. That his dreams for me were more than what I was capable of, more than what He could do in me. How wrong of me. I've had to ask forgiveness for not trusting Him. I've had to be honest with myself. I've had to fall on my face and ask God to show me... to trust Him enough that I would do whatever He asks of me. It's a scary place to be... always wondering. But I know that with Him, I am enough. His Grace is sufficient. I can accomplish that which he puts in front of me to do not because I am so strong or because I know how to do it, but because He is everything that I need. He provides all that I need to accomplish the task. I was afraid for a long time that God would ask great sacrifices of me. And he may. Like Abraham had to be willing to sacrifice Isaac on the altar of God, maybe I too have things that I need to be willing to lay down. I can only hope and pray that I learn to love freely, knowing that sometimes the Lord gives, and sometimes the Lord takes away. But at the end of the day I remember that my God loves me and His ways are not always my ways.

(side note: Today it is raining. My first experience of rain in Haiti. I hope it's not too bad!! )

People keep saying I will come home changed, a different person. I already feel different, I know many things have changed about me, but if you asked me to tell you what or how or when I would be at a loss for words. I wish I could explain to you better the things that God is teaching me. The challenges that are molding my character again... For now, I am just excited to see what today will bring and to spend one more day in the presence of my God.