"I am not alone, for my Father is with me." John 16:32

So the last few days have been interesting ones... oh who am I kidding?? every day is interesting and challenging here! But oh I am seeing the goodness of God... I have been very challenged personally lately, not necessarily because anyone has said to me here, "Kim, you are leaning too much on other people, you are attaching to people too much..." but I often feel DEEPLY. I love deeply. And it often gets me in trouble, because I mean one thing in my heart and it comes off quite differently. I was talking to a couple of my house mates last night about what to do about my friendships here. How do I deal? I want to make the most of my time here. I want to be effective in working with people and loving people, but finding a balance. I am sure this doesn't make sense to some of you... and that's about all the specific explanation I can give. However, I was telling them really the word that kept coming into my mind was "isolation". To be isolated for a time. Not in depression or caged in walls of fear, but separate. Not because I'm better, but because I need to be focused during my time here. I went to sleep with a heavy heart wondering if that was really the right answer. I woke up this morning and slept a little later than usual (till 8 this morning). I woke up and read todays "STREAMS IN THE DESERT" devotional. It's awesome and encouraging and I'm glad I brought it with me. I would like to share with you the entry for today because it confirmed and encouraged my heart. This is what it says:

" It is certainly unnecessary to say that turning conviction into action requires great sacrifice. It may mean renouncing or separating ourselves from specific people or things, leaving us with a strange sense of depravation and loneliness. Therefore the person who will ultimately soar like an eagle to the heights of the cloudless day and live in the sunshine of God must be content to live a relatively lonely life.
There are no birds that live in as much solitude as eagles, for they never fly in flocks. Rarely can even two eagles be seen together. And a life that is dedicated to God knows divine fellowship, no matter how many human friendships have had to be forfeited along the way.
God seeks "eagle people," for no one ever comes into the full realization of the best things of God in this spiritual life without learning to walk alone with Him. We see Abraham alone "in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities... near Sodom" (Gen. 13:12). Moses, although educated in all the wisdom of Egypt, had to spend forty years alone with God in the desert. And Paul, who was filled with all the knowledge of the Greeks and who sat "at the feet of Gamaliel" (Acts 22:3), was required, after meeting Jesus, to go "immediately into Arabia" (Gal. 1:17) to learn of the desert life with God.
May we allow God to isolate us, but I do not mean the isolation of monastery. It is in the experience of isolation that the Lord develops an independence of life and of faith so that the should no longer depends on the continual help, prayers, faith and care of others. The assistance and inspiration from others are necessary, and they have a place in a Christian's development, but at times they can actually become a hindrance to a person's faith and welfare.
God knows how to change our circumstances in order to isolate us. And once we yield to Him and He takes us through an experience of isolation, we are no longer dependent on those around us, although we still love them as much as before. Then we realize that He has done a new work within us and that the wings of our soul have learned to soar in loftier air.
We must dare to be alone, in the way that Jacob had to be alone for the Angel of God to whisper in his ear, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel" (Gen. 32:28); in the way that Daniel had to be left alone to see heavenly visions; and in the way that John had to be banished to the Isle of Patmos to receive and record "the revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him" (Rev. 1:1).
He has "trodden the wine press alone" (Isaiah 63:3) for us. Therefore are we prepared for a time of "glorious isolation" rather than to fail Him?

I am encouraged this morning after reading this. I know that God is working new things in me, and he certainly has brought me to a place where I must seek him. I have the opportunity for alone time with Him. And I am going to take it. I am going to continue to surrender and dive into his presence whole heartedly. I know that God can fill that void and longing in my heart better than anyone else anyway... SO I will attempt to love people with God's love and love God with all of me! I wonder what He will do?

I do miss you all back home and I will continue to pray that God blesses you and speaks to you and wraps His arms of love around you because I can't. Be encouraged today and know that you are LOVED.